Communication

       When comparing my self-evaluation and those of my daughter and friend the one thing that surprised me most was how similar our evaluations were.  I try to be honest and forthcoming with myself and recognize areas I need to improve.  Over the years I worked on becoming more respectful of the viewpoints and intelligence of others and to maintain a good balance between respect and consideration of other’s viewpoints (Rubin, 2009).  Although this was my goal, I was not aware of how others perceive me. 

The postings submitted by my colleagues on the Discussion Board provided many insights into the complexities of schemas and perceptions.  Many of the choices we make in our communication behavior, from the clothes we wear to the way we speak, are determined by the way we want others to perceive us (O’Hair, 2009).  When presenting ourselves in a specific light we must realize others perceive and interpret us based on their own schemas retrieved from their memories (p. 40) therefore others may not grasp the intention of our communication behavior.  Being mindful of this is a reminder to ask questions and listen effectively to ensure our messages are received the way we intend and that we are receiving the intended message of others.  Another way to improve the accuracy of our perceptions is not to rely completely on first impressions, which often lead to inaccurate conclusions (p. 44).

A second insight I gained this week is how first impressions lead to stereotyping.  When answering questions about a picture of a woman many of the answers were based on past experience.  The way the woman dressed evoked memories of particular groups of people that were dressed similarly.  Generalizing the style of dress to fit a particular socio-economic status or educational level prompted placing this unknown woman into one of these categories, thus developing a stereotypical view of her.  Without being mindful of this process it may become natural to continue making assumptions and place people into generalized categories based on stereotypes. 

          Awareness of the process of schemas, perceptions and stereotyping is important in working through barriers to effective communication and acceptance of diversity.  Effective communication and accepting diversity are paramount to working effectively with children and their families.  Being aware of our own schemas and preconceived perceptions will assist us to being sensitive, mindful and respectful of the viewpoint and intentions of others, especially children, their families, and our colleagues.    

                                                  References

O’Hair, D., & Wiemann, M. (2009). Real communication: An introduction. New York: Bedford/St. Martin’s

Rubin, R. B., Palmgreen, P., & Sypher, H. E. (Eds.) (2009). Communication research measures: A sourcebook. New York: Routledge

Strategies to Communicate More Effectively

          One aspect of my job involves visiting nursing care facilities.  I find that I communicate with the residents of nursing homes differently than I do with my colleagues at the office.  I tend to stand closer and speak louder and slower than usual.  A strategy I would employ to adjust my communication style to the individual with whom I am speaking is observing body language and visual cues to ascertain if the person is comfortable with how close I am standing to them and if they are able to hear my voice and grasp what I am saying when talking at a normal volume and pace.  By focusing on the other person and adapting my communication style the other person will feel at ease, making effective communication more likely (Beebe, 2011). 

A second strategy to developing effective communication skills when working with elderly individuals is to ask questions.  Asking questions is a simple technique to confirm the accuracy of assumptions, such as nursing home residents are hard of hearing.  It helps reduce uncertainty and helps both parties develop greater understanding (p. 106).  Taking the time to listen effectively to the answers increases trust and allows the other person to feel respected.

The third strategy I would use to communicate more effectively with individuals residing in nursing homes is to establish common ground (p. 105). The person with whom I may be communicating grew up in a different era than I and eliminating the communication barriers may not be possible; however finding common ground to build a new dialogue combining both our cultures may create a common understanding to develop meaningful communication (p. 107).

My experience working with people residing in nursing homes is that the time and effort taken to establish a rapport supportive of effective communication is that the reward is overwhelming.  I once spoke to a marvelous woman that told me her story of traveling cross country by hopping freight trains.  Priceless!

Reference

Beebe, S. A., Beebe, S. J., & Redmond, M. V. (2011). Interpersonal communication: Relating to others (6th ed.). Boston, MA: Allyn & Bacon

Smash

          Monday night I sat in front of the TV to watch a program I never watched before.  I do not own a VCR or recorder, so I watched part of the program with no volume and part with volume.  I do not watch a lot of TV so I do not know the names of the actors.  The first part of the show began with a group of people sitting in a theatre facing the stage.  A man and woman stood on stage talking.  Based on facial expressions and body language the atmosphere was tense.  No one was smiling and conversations were short and did not appear to be warm.  The scene changed to a couple standing outside conversing.  The man rolled his eyes at what the woman was saying.  The woman walked away.  My impression was that they were not happy with each because their facial expressions were stern.  The scene changed to a group of men and woman sitting in a lobby talking.  The woman that was just outside was part of the group.  The group looked a little drained, as at the end of a busy day.  The next scene was of a different man and woman talking in a bedroom.  The woman put her head down on her hands and the man kissed the top of her head.  He looked pensive, not loving as his lips were tightly pressed together.  The last scene I watch with no volume was a different couple outside arguing.  He looked sad as she pushed him away.  He attempted to kiss her.  My overall impression was that tonight’s episode (Monday night) was about tension between the characters and they are not a happy group.  (NBC (Network), 2012).

          With the volume turne on the next scene I watched was back on stage.  A man was playing the piano and the woman I had just seen outside named Julia was telling him, “I could kill you.  Do you know what he was saying to me?”  Julia was in tears.  The atmosphere was tense.  The program ended with the characters walking into church to hear one of the characters sing.  Everyone was relaxed and with their family.  Julia’s husband was with her.  Julia smiled revealing a much different impression than previously.  The couple from the bedroom also attended the church service.  In fact, she was one of the singers.  While sitting in a pew watching her sing her partner exchanged a glance with a blonde sitting in a different pew – the look indicated that there are feelings between them.  After watching the program with volume, my impression was that the program is about relationships and roles people play within their everyday lives as well as on stage.  (NBC (Network), 2012).

          What I learned by watching Smash without volume and then with volume was how revealing our eyes and facial expressions such as smiling, frowning, and a lips-tight stern look are when communicating.  I was also reminded of why I do not watch much TV. 

Reference

NBC (Network). (05/07/2012). Smash [TV program].

Competent Communication

          A colleague at work demonstrates competent communication.  An attribute she exhibits that stands out as very effective in her workplace communications is that she attempts to understand a particular situation while evaluating and respecting other’s input before making a response (O’Hair, 2009).  Many times she interjects with probing questions prefaced by, “May I ask…”  During individual conversations and meetings my colleague maintains eye contact and usually sits leaning slightly forward demonstrating her interest. Her behavior at work is professional indicative of her ability to determine the appropriateness for the particular culture and situation (p. 19). 

          I admire my colleague’s ability to communicate effectively and would like to model her competent communication processes.  My friend’s ability to demonstrate professionalism is apparent in her verbal communication as well as her appearance.  I believe appearance enhances the effectiveness of communication.  We portray an image by our vocalizations, listening skills, body language, and appearance.  My colleague is adept at “behavioral flexibility” (p. 19), a skill I admire and strive to achieve.  I remind myself frequently to practice better listening skills and monitor my verbal and non-verbal interactions in a culturally sensitive manner.  I appreciate my colleague’s honesty and respectfulness in her communications and strive for the same.

Reference

O’Hair, D., & Wiemann, M. (2009). Real communication: An introduction. New York: Bedford/St. Martin’s