Strategies to Communicate More Effectively

          One aspect of my job involves visiting nursing care facilities.  I find that I communicate with the residents of nursing homes differently than I do with my colleagues at the office.  I tend to stand closer and speak louder and slower than usual.  A strategy I would employ to adjust my communication style to the individual with whom I am speaking is observing body language and visual cues to ascertain if the person is comfortable with how close I am standing to them and if they are able to hear my voice and grasp what I am saying when talking at a normal volume and pace.  By focusing on the other person and adapting my communication style the other person will feel at ease, making effective communication more likely (Beebe, 2011). 

A second strategy to developing effective communication skills when working with elderly individuals is to ask questions.  Asking questions is a simple technique to confirm the accuracy of assumptions, such as nursing home residents are hard of hearing.  It helps reduce uncertainty and helps both parties develop greater understanding (p. 106).  Taking the time to listen effectively to the answers increases trust and allows the other person to feel respected.

The third strategy I would use to communicate more effectively with individuals residing in nursing homes is to establish common ground (p. 105). The person with whom I may be communicating grew up in a different era than I and eliminating the communication barriers may not be possible; however finding common ground to build a new dialogue combining both our cultures may create a common understanding to develop meaningful communication (p. 107).

My experience working with people residing in nursing homes is that the time and effort taken to establish a rapport supportive of effective communication is that the reward is overwhelming.  I once spoke to a marvelous woman that told me her story of traveling cross country by hopping freight trains.  Priceless!

Reference

Beebe, S. A., Beebe, S. J., & Redmond, M. V. (2011). Interpersonal communication: Relating to others (6th ed.). Boston, MA: Allyn & Bacon

Smash

          Monday night I sat in front of the TV to watch a program I never watched before.  I do not own a VCR or recorder, so I watched part of the program with no volume and part with volume.  I do not watch a lot of TV so I do not know the names of the actors.  The first part of the show began with a group of people sitting in a theatre facing the stage.  A man and woman stood on stage talking.  Based on facial expressions and body language the atmosphere was tense.  No one was smiling and conversations were short and did not appear to be warm.  The scene changed to a couple standing outside conversing.  The man rolled his eyes at what the woman was saying.  The woman walked away.  My impression was that they were not happy with each because their facial expressions were stern.  The scene changed to a group of men and woman sitting in a lobby talking.  The woman that was just outside was part of the group.  The group looked a little drained, as at the end of a busy day.  The next scene was of a different man and woman talking in a bedroom.  The woman put her head down on her hands and the man kissed the top of her head.  He looked pensive, not loving as his lips were tightly pressed together.  The last scene I watch with no volume was a different couple outside arguing.  He looked sad as she pushed him away.  He attempted to kiss her.  My overall impression was that tonight’s episode (Monday night) was about tension between the characters and they are not a happy group.  (NBC (Network), 2012).

          With the volume turne on the next scene I watched was back on stage.  A man was playing the piano and the woman I had just seen outside named Julia was telling him, “I could kill you.  Do you know what he was saying to me?”  Julia was in tears.  The atmosphere was tense.  The program ended with the characters walking into church to hear one of the characters sing.  Everyone was relaxed and with their family.  Julia’s husband was with her.  Julia smiled revealing a much different impression than previously.  The couple from the bedroom also attended the church service.  In fact, she was one of the singers.  While sitting in a pew watching her sing her partner exchanged a glance with a blonde sitting in a different pew – the look indicated that there are feelings between them.  After watching the program with volume, my impression was that the program is about relationships and roles people play within their everyday lives as well as on stage.  (NBC (Network), 2012).

          What I learned by watching Smash without volume and then with volume was how revealing our eyes and facial expressions such as smiling, frowning, and a lips-tight stern look are when communicating.  I was also reminded of why I do not watch much TV. 

Reference

NBC (Network). (05/07/2012). Smash [TV program].

Competent Communication

          A colleague at work demonstrates competent communication.  An attribute she exhibits that stands out as very effective in her workplace communications is that she attempts to understand a particular situation while evaluating and respecting other’s input before making a response (O’Hair, 2009).  Many times she interjects with probing questions prefaced by, “May I ask…”  During individual conversations and meetings my colleague maintains eye contact and usually sits leaning slightly forward demonstrating her interest. Her behavior at work is professional indicative of her ability to determine the appropriateness for the particular culture and situation (p. 19). 

          I admire my colleague’s ability to communicate effectively and would like to model her competent communication processes.  My friend’s ability to demonstrate professionalism is apparent in her verbal communication as well as her appearance.  I believe appearance enhances the effectiveness of communication.  We portray an image by our vocalizations, listening skills, body language, and appearance.  My colleague is adept at “behavioral flexibility” (p. 19), a skill I admire and strive to achieve.  I remind myself frequently to practice better listening skills and monitor my verbal and non-verbal interactions in a culturally sensitive manner.  I appreciate my colleague’s honesty and respectfulness in her communications and strive for the same.

Reference

O’Hair, D., & Wiemann, M. (2009). Real communication: An introduction. New York: Bedford/St. Martin’s

Professional Hopes and Goals

     My hope working with children and families from diverse backgrounds is to play an active role in making the playing field level so every child has an equal opportunity to reach his or her fullest potential.  I hold the vision that every child and family can be empowered to recognize diversity as an enrichment and use opportunities to learn from one another.  Stereotypes, microaggressions, and the “-isms” can and will be recognized as well as the role each person plays to perpetuate these unfair and biased attitudes.  Children and families will be empowered to advocate and work to diminish inequities and become active participants making society more equitable for all children.

     A goal I would like to set for the early childhood field is that awareness of diversity, microaggressions, and the “-isms” becomes common knowledge.  This can be accomplished by targeting awareness on all levels, including early childhood programs, the school systems, and adults.  Education of the general public so that the “-isms, and diversity become common knowledge involves participation of the media and technology used by children and adults.  The media, technology, and education curriculums on all levels will be targeted as instrumental in achieving equity and social justice so that every child may reach their full potential.

     I do not feel I can be brief in expressing my gratitude to my colleagues in this class.  We have shared personal stories and private emotions with each other.  We have touched each other’s lives.  I have grown and become so much more sensitive not only to the pain microaggressions cause but also to the joy of embracing diversity.  My circle of friends has become more diverse and I am able to form deeper and fuller relationships.  Thank you for helping me gain an understanding of the day to day trials and tribulations of implementing diversity in early childhood settings.  Thank you for helping to grow alongside each of you!  

Welcoming Families From Around the World

     I am working for a child care center and we are preparing for a new student whose family just migrated from Benin, Africa and I was informed he will be placed in my room.  I was told that Benin is located in West Africa bordered by Togo and Nigeria.  The climate is tropical and Benin is sub-Saharan.  The main industry is agriculture.  My new student, Claudio will speak French, a language I do not speak.   I immediately begin researching the culture of Benin, the types of schools and family attitudes toward education.  I am also interested in learning about the music and foods of Benin and research if foods can be purchased locally.  Of particular interest is the family structure and religions of the country.

     There is an employee of the child care center that works part-time in the kitchen and speaks French fluently.  I make arrangements for this employee to assist me communicating with Claudio and his family.  I ask her to teach me a few phrases and words that will be helpful in meeting my new student’s needs during his transition into the program. 

     After completing my initial research I schedule a meeting with Claudio, his parents and the interpreter.  I am very careful to ensure Claudio and his parents are comfortable and understand what is spoken.  My goal is to ascertain their goals for Claudio and to explain the child care’s goals so we may work together to combine and incorporate their goals into the curriculum.  We discuss their family culture, their views about education, and their customs and foods, special toys that Claudio may share with classmates or that may be purchased by the center as well as special holidays and religions celebrations. The family shares that Claudio has several favorite books from Benin that he would be willing to share.  With the interpreter’s assistance, we discuss how the family handles discipline and discuss the guidelines used by the center.  We also discuss Claudio’s learning style within the family and the general learning styles that are prominent in the schools in Benin. I ask Claudio and his parents to suggest changes we could make in the classroom to reflect their culture and help Claudio feel more comfortable and at home.  Claudio’s mom agrees to volunteer in the classroom twice a week and his father will volunteer one day a week.

     Claudio’s family provided many suggestions for books, learning materials, and snack foods that reflect their country and customs.  I begin ordering books, including audio books in French and English as well as posters and several new games and toys that Claudio’s parents suggested.  The interpreter helps me add French words to all the items that are labeled around the room.  We plan a snack menu that includes some of Claudio’s favorites.  I schedule a meeting with the center director and other teachers to discuss incorporating suggestions and ideas Claudio’s parents made into our curriculum.  I plan to discuss the differences in the learning styles and discipline and to seek guidance, suggestions, and participation of the staff.  I share that I would like to add music around the world to our plans so that the children can make musical instruments, including some used in Benin.

     Last, I sought permission for the kitchen staff interpreter to spend time in our room, especially Claudio’s first day, to assist with the language barrier.  I shared all the information I gathered and learned with my children and together we planned to make Claudio’s first day a special day for him.

     My hope is that Claudio and his family will have a smooth transition into the culture of the center and our room.  We will assist Claudio to be proud of his heritage and language while learning a new culture and making new friends.  My knowledge of cultural diversity will be broadened and I hope to broaden the students’ views and knowledge of diversity as well. 

Resource

Smidt, S., (2006). The Developing Child in the 21st Century: A Global Perspective on Child Development.

The Personal Side of Bias, Prejudice, and Oppression

     An incident that happened at work reflected classism and brought to light the magnitude of how people that are part of the dominant group are not aware of the hurtfulness of their actions.  Everyone’s favorite employee was forced into retirement due to her medical condition reaching a serious level.  We were all very sad and continue to keep tabs on her by getting updates from her best friend.  During a conversation I was having one of the clerical staff this employee’s condition was mentioned.  I realized that she was totally unaware that the employee’s condition had gone from serious to critical.  While I was updating her she started to cry.  She said, “Oh my, that’s my girl!  Every time I asked her best friend how she was doing I was told that she was fine”.  My heart broke!  I was sad to realize the extent of the hidden biases in an environment I spend the majority of my waking hours!  My friend suffered the result of classism by the dominant group because she is clerical staff.    

    This incident highlighted inequity in my work place based on the hierarchy of class.  Witnessing the devastation my friend felt first because she became aware that someone she obviously loves is in the dying process and second because she was excluded from this information.  The feelings this incident brought to me were anger and a deep feeling of unfairness. 

     There is great power in leading by example.  I am hoping my colleagues will follow my lead and develop relationships at work that are not based on an individual’s place on the totum pole of hierarchy and that this incident will be the beginning of awareness of the inequity the dominant group practices based on class.  My friend left my work area, still crying, and went directly to the sick employee’s best friend.  This time she was updated on the condition of her dying friend.  My friend used the moment as a step toward enlightening the other employee of the effect being excluded from information had on her. 

    In an adult world people are capable of educating and advocating for themselves.  Change occurs with knowledge, awareness, and sensitivity.  People must become knowledgeable about biases, prejudice, and microaggressions.  Next people must become aware of their own biases, prejudices that result in microaggressions.  Finally, people must become sensitive to the feelings of others and the effect biases, prejudice, and microaggressions have on the recipients. Every adult is responsible for this undertaking.  In a child’s world family, teachers, clergy, community members, and institutions are responsible to teach and instill equality and equity.  

Practicing Awareness of Microaggressions

       Work is such a large part of our lives that it is “everyday life”.  Situations that caused me to question people’s intent and to realize that unintentional microaggressive acts are common and acceptable at work every day.  One such act took place after a white colleague fell and became injured while shopping during her lunch break.  A different white colleague said to me, “Oh, she’s just going after disability.  Isn’t that what people like her do”?  She was perpetuating classism and buying into the myth that there is a culture of poverty because of where the first employee grew up (Gorski, 2007).  I found this to be confusing and questioned the intent because these colleagues are in the same job classification, the injured employee has many more years’ experience, and both are extremely intelligent evidenced by their photographic memories.  I now realize the comments reflect vying for power and a superiority attitude (Laureate, 2010).  What I have learned in this course thus far has taught me that I should have made the second colleague aware of the implications of her statements and not have accepted it as an everyday occurrence.  A similar situation occurred when my supervisor made a comment about an employee of color, stating “she’s just using the system, aren’t they all like that”?  Again, this statement indicates a superior attitude, racism, and discrimination due to negative stereotyping (Teaching Tolerance, n.d.).

          The effects of microaggression I have observed in my present place of employment is that a cumulative effect and disempowerment.  The women of color or from a different class than the dominant group do not point out the aggressions and silently “move on”.  Their acceptance and “harmony” in the work place seem to take precedence over their feelings of being slighted and demeaned (Laureate, 2010). Although the comments were not made directly to the women, there is subtle attitude that not everyone is fully accepted into dominant group which pervades the office.  Awareness, self-reflection, and breaking away the “norm” or “in-crowd” are steps we should all take to strive to break the “-isms” cycle.  The onus of responsibility for change (Gorski, 2007) is on all of us.

My experiences this week have made me keenly aware of the heart-wrenching plight of marginalized people.  Aside from the “office politics”, my job involves listening to and reading complaints, many of which are prompted by microaggressive behavior as well as behavior related to the “-isms”.  I hear people say, “My relative was made to feel like a second class citizen because he/she speaks a different language”; “I was singled out because of my color”.   I hear the loss of dignity and helplessness.  My passion to re-enter the early childhood field is renewed and strengthened.  Our job to identify patterns of behavior and to supplant the beliefs and assumptions that undergird the behavior (Margles, 2010) begins at the beginning when attitudes are forming as studies have shown that as early as age 3, children pick up terms of racial prejudice (Teaching Tolerance, n.d.). 

References

Gorski, P. C. (2007). The question of class. Education Digest, 73(2), 30–33. Retrieved from the Walden Library using the Academic Search Complete database: http://ezp.waldenulibrary.org/login?url=http://search.ebscohost.com/login.aspx?direct=true&db=a9h&AN=27177336&site=ehost-live&scope=site

Laureate Education, Inc. (Producer). (2010). Microaggressions in Everyday Life [Video webcast]. Retrieved from http://www.courseurl.com

Margles, S., & Margles, R. M. (2010). Inverting racism's distortions. Our Schools/Our Selves, 19(3), 137–149. Retrieved from the Walden Library using the Education Research Complete database: http://ezp.waldenulibrary.org/login?url=http://search.ebscohost.com/login.aspx?direct=true&db=ehh&AN=51372248&site=ehost-live&scope=site

Teaching Tolerance. (n.d.). Test yourself for hidden bias. Retrieved May 25, 2011, from http://www.tolerance.org/activity/test-yourself-hidden-bias